Log Post #38 of 40
Log Post #38 | From: warpio | Posted: 9/13/2018 11:20:00 AMUpdated: 9/13/2018 02:36:13 PM
|Episode 25 - The World Ending / Do you love me?|
Shinji Ikari is agonizing over Kaworu Nagisa’s death, even as he tries to say that there was no choice but to kill the Angel. Shinji begs for others to help him. He is asked what he is afraid of, and it’s being hated by father. But he is still unsure where to go, and wonders if he must pilot, after being forced to kill someone he loved. The on-screen text asks him why he pilots. Shinji replies that it’s for the good of mankind, and because the others treat him well.
This is the infamous part of the series where the studio ran out of budget and had to improvise with an artistic portrayal of what goes on in the pilots' minds while the Human Instrumentality project is happening, and you're left wondering what the hell that even means and what's actually happening.
I can't see anything. I don't know what's what.
You can already tell by this point that it's not a normal episode. It's a jumbled mess of reused footage and still images along with Shinji having a therapy session with the narrative on-screen text. And then as Asuka starts criticising Shinji, the therapy text starts targetting her. And then when Rei comes in and criticizes Asuka, Rei starts getting therapy from the other Reis.
Asuka Langley Soryu appears before Shinji, and says that he’s lying: he only does this for himself. Shinji wants people to need him, and waits them to give him false happiness. But, says Rei Ayanami as she appears to Asuka, it is the same for Asuka too. Asuka shown inside Eva-02 in a fetal position that mimics the Eva’s, inside of a lake. Asuka laments that she is no one now, unneeded because she can’t pilot. Rei is heard telling Asuka that she’s seeking her value in others, and Asuka screams at her to shut up. Rei continues, saying Asuka is afraid of being alone, because she disappears along with the people around her.
Rei’s case begins. The three incarnations of Rei discuss their nature. Rei 3 can’t understand how all three of them can be Rei Ayanami. The reply is that they are because others say they are. Rei 1 claims that they are all false creations, that the real self lies somewhere dark, beyond them. Rei 2 and 3 know that their Rei identity is shaped by the people they interact with, and that they fear becoming nothing. They once wanted to disappear, but would not because he (Gendo Ikari) needed them. But now it will happen anyway, and they are afraid. Gendo is shown standing before Rei, telling her to go with him, that this is the day for which she was created.
Rei definitely seems like the most fucked up mental case, understandably. She says she actually wants to die, but Gendo wouldn't let her... but now that her role is fulfilled and Gendo won't need her anymore, she's actually afraid of disappearing. This Rei section also has some of the most interesting still images.
As this therapy session part of the episode ends, both episode titles are shown, and then it switches focus back to Shinji's consciousness as the instrumentality begins.
The act of Instrumentality is explained further. Shinji feels his consciousness spreading out to cover existence, and it feels good. The on-screen text calls it a return to nothingness. Gendo is shown and says that it is in fact a return to the mother which they all lost, a return that will create peace. Misato Katsuragi and Ritsuko Akagi face each other in the void.
And that's the Instrumentality Project?
That's right. There is always a void, a part that has been lost in our hearts. That is what gives rise to the hunger in our hearts. This is what gives rise to fear and insecurity. Every single person fears that darkness in their heart and lives life trying to escape from it, to banish it. Even though it will never disappear as long as we remain human.
That's why you're going to bundle all human souls together, so we can compensate for the void in each other?! And you're just going to do this to everyone?! Mind your own business! That's nothing more than a conspiracy to deceive us!
But you've been wishing for it to happen too.
Then it switches to a Misato therapy session. By now, it's apparent that Shinji is leading this instrumentality thing by probing into the versions of everyone he knows in his own mind, and connecting back to the version of himself in their minds... This is really trippy to think about.
Misato’s case begins. Shinji is there at first, saying that he must connect with the minds of others to find who he is. What does Misato want? The young Misato wants to be a good girl, because her father is absent, and her mother always cries when he is, and she must not bother her mother, and maybe her father won’t hate her if she’s good. But the adult Misato is sick of that. She wants to be dirty, disgraced. Ritsuko asked if that’s why she slept with “that man” (Ryoji Kaji). Misato protests, no, it was because she loved him, he was kind to her.
A scene, presumably from Misato’s college days, has Misato and Kaji having sex offscreen, while Shinji stands there and watches. Misato is mortified at the thought of Shinji seeing this side of herself, though her own voice says that she was happy to show this side to Kaji, to Shinji, maybe to her father. She sought peace, warmth, her father in Kaji’s arms, didn’t she? Misato denies it, but then acknowledges that she saw her father in Kaji, and that is why she fled from him. That, and how much joy it brought her. Kaji tells Misato that if she hates herself, that’s no reason to injure herself.
Misato disdains his words: men always tell her to be good to herself, then just run off. Like her father. Misato is the harsh reality, she hates herself. Other characters appear, call her vulgar and disgusting. But Hyuga congratulates her on her promotion. Misato is performing a role, but her real self is crying. Misato says she is happy, but she is wrong. She is using sex and relationships to try to ease her loneliness. She can’t stand being alone.
Here's another insanely thought-provoking quote from Kaji.
Well, I guess it just means love begins for no reason, but always ends for a reason.
Asuka's therapy session begins next... the one from earlier on in this episode was just the prelude to it.
Asuka’s case begins. She wanted to live by herself, away from her parents, so that she would no longer cry. But she cries anyway, and can’t understand why. Her stepmother didn’t like her, finding Asuka oddly mature and rejecting. Kyoko’s relationship with Asuka post-Contact experiment is recapped. Asuka said she wasn’t Kyoko’s doll, and would live on her own. But then, Kyoko was hanging from the ceiling, looking happy. Asuka hated how she looked. Asuka didn’t want to die, to disappear, but nobody stays with her or protects her: she hates everyone.
Episode 22's mental trip had that whole repeating motif of a door opening to show some trippy backgrounds behind it, to symbolize the traumatizing moment that Asuka opened the door and saw her mother hanging from the ceiling with a happy look on her face... That did a really good job of showing just how fucked up Asuka's mental trauma is. And this scene shows/explains that moment in a more straightforward manner without hiding it behind trippy symbolism.
I'm a bit confused though. I assumed Kyoko was Asuka's real mother. But according to this wiki text it's her previous stepmother. I forget if the show has stated this or not. I guess it doesn't matter.
Spotlights appear on both sides of Asuka, revealing Shinji and Misato.
Shinji: Don't forsake me.
Misato: Don't abandon me.
Asuka: Don't kill me.
Another Shinji who is sitting down watching these 3 actors on a stage, asks "what is this?" and then Misato shows up next to him to explain.
The Human Instrumentality Project that your father was working on.
It appears to be part of it.
For a second there it almost seemed like we were back in the real world, and the real Misato and Shinji were talking about what is actually going on, but then it quickly goes back into a psychological vortex as other characters appear and add to Misato's sentences as if they're talking as one being...
Because the truth eludes even us. Only what you can feel for yourself right now is fact.
Within you. And your memory of those things will become the truth for you. There are also some truths that change with time.
They all appear to be talking to the Shinji who is sitting there, the only one left that still seems to be trapped in his own isolated mind.
So, this is fact, the result of everything that was done. This...
There are a lot of realities. This is one of them. This is the result you wished for.
The one I wished for?
Yes, annihilation, a world where no one is saved.
No! It's just that no one saved me! No one...
No one can save you. This is what you wished for.
Destruction, death, the return to nothingness...
It's what you wished for. This is reality.
What is reality?
It's your world. It's your own world where you coexist with time, space, and other people. It's a world where you yourself decide how to perceive and accept it. Right now, this is your world, where everything is given to you.
That is reality This is your world, which cannot be helped.
It's a world where everything's already set!
You're wrong. It's a world where you make the decisions. It's a world where your heart has decided that it is so. This is reality. Your will to live... Your thoughts of wanting to die... They are all what you wished for.
You're saying even this darkness and this world of half measures are all things I wished for?
By now, the characters gathered around Shinji in a chair talking to him in the auditorium... has turned into just pictures of an empty auditorium from various camera angels, including a view of the empty chair in the middle, while voices of characters continue talking.
That's right. You wished for a closed world, where you alone are comfortable. In order to protect the weakness of your heart. In order to protect your pleasures in life. This is merely the result. For people cannot live in a world that is yours alone. They cannot live in a space that is closed off. But you wished for the world, the world that surrounds you, to be closed off. Your heart and mind eliminated everything you didn't like and wished for a world as solitary as possible.
And that has led to this little haven for your soul.
Then goes back to closeups of the characters' faces in a black void.
This is one of the many ends that could occur. This is the end of the world that you have brought about.
Narration: And the journey towards instrumentality... will continue.
oh and of course, continuing the trend of the next episode previews getting more and more budget cuts, now it's literally just showing a scrolling gif of text on paper (I'm guessing it's a part of the written screenplay of the next episode. like the joke is they couldn't even afford to draw storyboard yet at this time when the final episode is due in a week).
I kinda just preferred to read/paste the dialog directly for the parts at the end there, but here's how the evageeks wiki describes that last part.
The three characters ask not to be forsaken, abandoned, killed. The background becomes an auditorium. Though there is a Shinji on the stage, there is also a Shinji sitting facing it, and another Misato beside him. The Shinji facing the stage is confused: he doesn’t know what this is. The other characters say it seems to be the Human Instrumentality Project, but cannot tell for certain. The only truth that can be known is what a person feels for themselves; memory becomes the truth. Shinji is told that this is all a result of his wishes, a world of annihilation, where no one was saved. Aghast, Shinji protests that actually no one saved him. But the others still insist that he did wish for this: a closed world, to protect his weak heart and few pleasures, and this was the closest thing to it.
This episode was a lot better than I was expecting. For having such a low budget for the episode, they did a pretty good job of making use of that to make for an interesting finale. It was basically like reading a manga except with voices and lips moving, but like a really good manga. I especially loved the part
at the end where everyone started gathering around and talking to the Shinji sitting in a chair, the perspective shots there were really well done.