Log Post #32 of 40
Log Post #32 | From: warpio | Posted: 9/06/2018 05:05:00 PMUpdated: 9/06/2018 07:01:28 PM
|Episode 20 - Form of the Mind, Form of the Man / Weaving a Story 2: Oral Stage|
The Episode begins with Eva-01 eating the mangled corpse of the Angel Zeruel, consuming the Angel's S² Engine. The Instrumentality Committee is dismayed over the turn of events, the members complaining about the time and money lost because of all of Zeruel's destruction, and even worse, Eva-01 breaking free and acquiring God status. They consider Gendo Ikari as being responsible, and plan to give him a warning that such incidents cannot be tolerated.
lmao are you kidding me. Gendo is obviously above these clowns.
Kaji is with Gendo and Fuyutsuki, talking about how Seele's reaction to the Eva, and Gendo's planned scenario. His last line is one of concern- he knows that Shinji is still trapped inside the Eva Hyuga and Misato stand before a heavily bandaged Eva-01, talking to each other. Misato is furious with Ritsuko, asking her what an Eva is, and even angrier when Ritsuko sounds like she is not taking responsibility for her work.
Rei wakes up in a hospital bed, and is surprised to still be alive. Meanwhile Asuka is pouting in her room over having failed to Shinji yet again. The next day, Ritsuko and her co-workers come up with a plan to unmerge Shinji from the Eva. Misato is still angry at Ritsuko at this point.
We can surmise that Shinji's body lost its ego border, and he's floating in the entry plug in quantum form.
In other words, Shinji has shifted into a form we can't see?
Yes, the composition of the LCL inside the plug has chemically altered into something very similar to the sea water of primitive Earth.
A soup of life, huh? All of the substances which composed Shinji are still preserved in the plug, and what could be called his soul exists there as well. In fact, his self-image is pseudo- substantiating his plug suit.
In other words, salvaging him means reconstructing his body and anchoring his psyche within it.
Is that possible?
With the Magi's support, yes.
You can't know what will happen until you try it.
I mean, that's not any less crazy than what they did to create these Eva monstrosities.
Inside the Eva, Shinji goes on a mental trip, talking to Rei in various locations- on an escalator, inside a train at dusk, and so on. He begins to question whether or not his father abandoned him or if he ran away, and why he piloted Eva in the first place. Images of Misato, Asuka and Rei appear to him, asking him to be one with them.
At the beginning of this mental trip, Shinji was seeing a bunch of abstract backgrounds underneath a static foreground of an upsidedown ocean shore... Then images of all the characters he knows were flashing before him... then all of the enemies he's fought flashing before him. Among those enemies is an image of the Adam fetus.
Our enemies, the Angels, given the names of heavenly beings. They are the targets of the Evas and Nerv.
As he starts to question why he's even fighting the Angels in the first place, he remembers Asuka telling him that's a dumb thing to think about.
Maybe I don't need a reason. Maybe I'm not supposed to think about it. Enemy! Enemy! Enemy! Enemy! They're all my enemies! Those that threaten me... us... they are the enemy. That's right! What's wrong with protecting my life, our lives?!
And now a bunch of images of Gendo are flashing before him as he chants "Enemy! Enemy! Enemy! Enemy! My enemy! My enemy!"
Then as he imagines himself plunging a knife towards his dad, the mind trip cuts to a scene with Rei talking to him on the escalator. This is like a continuation of the scene that Toji was dreaming about last episode.
Why do you hate your father?
Of course! Anyone would.
You can't understand your father?
Of course not. I've hardly ever seen him.
Is that why you hate him?
Yes, my father doesn't need me! My father deserted me!
And am I the substitute?
That's right! That's got to be it! He abandoned me because he had you!
As if you didn't run away all by yourself.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! It's all his fault!! That time, I was actually going to tell him I hate him!
Then it goes to a flashback scene, where Gendo first told Shinji to pilot the Eva. Shinji's internal thoughts during this scene are revealed.
Are you telling me to get on that thing and put myself in danger, Father?
What's with that?! I don't want to! Why are you saying this now?! I thought you didn't need me, Father!
I merely called you because I needed you.
Because it's impossible for anyone else.
But that's impossible. I've never even seen or heard of it. There's no way I could do it!
Then the current Shinji cuts in, and admits that he knew the Eva before this all happened.
That's right! I knew the Eva. And that time, I ran away! Away from Mother and Father!
Oh? Some important Shinji backstory coming up...
It's now been 31 days since Shinji has been fused to Eva-01. Ritsuko's team is still busy executing their plan to save Shinji and get Eva-01 back to a controllable state.
Shinji sees the sun in the sky.
Kindness... Warmth... Is this the warmth of a human? I never knew it.Then it cuts to him and Rei in an elevator.
What is loneliness?
I didn't understand it before, but I think I do now.
What is happiness?
I didn't understand it before, but I think I do now.
Are others kind to you?
Because I'm an Eva pilot.Then the younger-sounding Shinji voice takes over, with a vertical line representing him just like in the previous mind trip in episode 16.
Because I pilot Eva, they treat me well. That's the reason why I'm allowed to be here. It's all that sustains me. So I have to pilot Eva.
Enemy! Yes, I have to fight what everyone calls the enemy!
I have to win! Right, I mustn't lose. I have to pilot the Eva as I'm told. And I have to win as I'm told!He remembers all the times people have praised him for piloting the Eva, including his father.
Miss Misato, Miss Ritsuko, Asuka, Toji, Kensuke, and Father. They all praise me. When I pilot Eva, they all praise me. They praise someone like me, and they all tell me to pilot it.
Father... The father that abandoned me... I'll show him!
I'm doing my best. I am doing my best! Somebody be nice to me. I've fought so hard! I'm fighting with everything I've got! Treat me well! Be nice to me!He raises his voice during the last part until he's shouting at the top of his lungs for people to be nice to him.
I am nice to you.
Tell me, Shinji, do you want to become one with me? To be of one mind and body? It's a very, very comforting feeling.
It's okay, you know. I'm okay whenever you are.
Misato, Asuka, and Rei all say the same thing, offering to become one with him...
Then, as Ritsuko's team attempts to eject the entry plug, Shinji's ego gets stuck on a loop where everyone he knows is casually greeting him while their names flash by in his mind. The mechanics try to deal with the anomaly, but it keeps on getting worse... Now Shinji's mind trip has gone to the point where it seems like all these women that are talking to him are taking the form of someone else.
Don't you want to come back, Shinji?
I don't understand. I don't understand. I... I...
What do you wish?
What do you wish?
What do you wish?
They seem to be losing control of the entry plug's LCL formation... the pressure builds up, and they aren't able to stop it. Finally, the entry plug bursts open and Shinji's plugsuit spills out, empty. Misato acts as if Shinji is already dead. Meanwhile, the Misato in Shinji's mind trip talks to him as the scene keeps changing between him in a hospital bed and other scenes.
Where am I?
Inside the Eva.
Inside the Eva? Did I pilot the Eva again? Why?
You won't pilot the Eva anymore?
I've decided I will never pilot Eva again.
But you did pilot Evangelion Unit 01.
Shinji, you are here now because you piloted the Eva. You are the person you are now because you piloted the Eva.
You cannot deny it, that you in fact piloted the Eva, nor can you deny the self that you have been so far, which is your past. But as for what you will do from now on, you must decide for yourself.
Suddenly, Shinji recognizes his mother's smell, and hears a conversation between his father and her, talking about naming him after he was born.
Gendo: So he will live in this world, in the hell after the Second Impact?
Yui: Oh, but if you have the will to live, anywhere can be heaven. Because he is alive. He'll have plenty of chances to find happiness.
Gendo: I see. That's very true.
Yui: Have you decided yet?
Gendo: If it's a boy, Shinji. If it's a girl, I'll name her Rei.
In the end, Shinji passes through an "Inner Universe" starfield and as the light turns from blue to red, passes out of the Evangelion. Misato is crying and holding Shinji's plugsuit outside, when there is a sudden splash and Shinji is seen lying on the floor, the Eva's core glowing.
Soon afterwards, Misato goes on a drive with Ritsuko.
Here's the conversation between Misato and Ritsuko during the drive at the end:
Sure, I can understand, but I guess that's what's called the oral stage.
It's something a psychologist came up with a long time ago. In other words, it's where you want to be with your mother forever. It refers to people who want to always be dependent on someone. There's someone like that among my acquaintences too, and you're a lot like him.
The artificial human Evangelion... For it being man-made, don't you think the black box of unknowns is too large?
Well, not that I care, since Shinji was ultimately saved.
That wasn't me. It was you, probably.
Ritsuko asks Misato out for a drink, and she declines in order to go and bang Kaji.
And here's the radio conversation that happens at the same time as that:
The restoration of Unit 01 will be complete the day after tomorrow. In the end, I guess humans will even use God's powers as a tool.
I don't know about that. I hear some on the committee have even suggested a freeze.The rest of it I couldn't really follow, it quickly changes subject to some relationship gossip or something.
Misato tries to get some more information out of Kaji while they're laying in bed together.
So, how far has the Human Instrumentality Project gotten? Adam, destroyer of humanity. Why is it being kept underground?But he says this isn't a good place to talk about it... When she asks about Nerv and Gendo's true objective, he replies that he'd like to know that as well. Just as the episode ends, he leaves her a pill and says it's a present for her.